Someone at work brought pumpkin dip for me to try not long ago. I of course resisted… but only at first. Let me tell you about it because it’s awesome… it’s pumpkin, cream cheese, brown sugar, and “various pumpkin pie spices” combined to make a delicious dip…
…A dip derived from culinary sorcery the likes of which rivaled only by creation itself. Oh you think that’s over the top? Strap in.
A small dollop… just one small dollop atop a ginger snap and I was whisked away to a magical land where it’s always Autumn and you never get fat. Where there’s always football to watch and your favorite baseball team is headed for the World Series. Where everyone has pie and backpacks filled with Cool Whip. The changing leaves fall to the ground and leave not the brittle nor soggy decay of fall’s end, but a gentle layer of graham cracker pieces, ginger snap morsels and pie crust slices.
Those confections pile en masse as the locals dance around it wielding their pumpkin-shaped bowls of pumpkin dip. They whimsically graze the pile with their delicate fingers, fetching edible utensils in rhythmic motion and timing to the sounds of the unheard songs of late October’s nutrition rebellion.
From over the hills, a warm breeze mixes with the cool air bringing with it the scent of distant apples baking in pies and dumplings as if a subtle foreshadowing of this fantasy land’s unending blessings.
Fairies glide above us leaving trails of sugar crystals that fasten themselves atop the tarts and pastries manifesting themselves on the brims of our favorite team’s hat. To the left is more decadence as the cinnamon stick dam holding back the river of hot apple cider releases perfectly-timed mug-sized portions of its golden majesty. One by one it drops into their mugs as those who desire find their way, wasting not a drop.
A sign above me reads “Welcome to Autumn’s Bliss! Established Before Time, Population Unending.” A commotion can be heard in the town’s square as the mayor, adorned with fantastical walnut armor, reads the town’s creed, his slightly toasted marshmallow hat proudly standing, sprinkled with oats.
“Autumn’s Bliss, we do solemnly swear,
To treat all comers with sweets and care, To hold dear the sounds and smells, Of fall feasts and dinner bells.
To embrace dessert and with all share,
We purge all sadness, pain and wear.
An oath we offer to our home and cradle, ‘Let all be armed with plate and ladle!’
And in the depths of confectioner’s glee, Shall all be fed in awe of thee.
To our land, we hereby swear,
To share the spoils of October faire.
Threats of cravings you do destroy,
With treats and sweets we can enjoy.
Upon every bite and pastry’s kiss,
We all give thanks to Autumn’s Bliss!”
… then the friggin’ phone rang and I had to get back to work. But yeah pretty good dip.